Meet Sarah and Patrick: How Commitment Built Trust
Author, Allison Peart | 07/12/2021
“I’d like people to volunteer for [Miracle Friends] because it can make a difference in someone’s life. Being a senior and going through my life process, it’s important to have someone . . . that you can look forward to talking to”
Read about how two strangers built a lasting foundation of trust through the Miracle Friends Program.
Though interviewed separately because of scheduling conflicts, volunteer Sarah and unhoused friend Patrick share an intertwined relationship. Through consistent calls, Sarah’s commitment and emotional intelligence, and Patrick’s willingness to be vulnerable, they have developed a loving friendship in which they help each other.
Full of 75 years of wisdom, Patrick makes clear how important Sarah has become to him: “She listens to what I have to say and I listen to her. I’m very fortunate.” Sarah agrees, calling theirs “a terrific friendship that we both rely on,” but the closeness Sarah and Patrick share today took time to develop. Like any relationship, things were slightly awkward at first. For Patrick, it was the physical distance between them that made him wary.
“I was a little apprehensive at the beginning,” says Patrick, “because we are so far apart. But I slowly developed a trust with [Sarah], and [now] we can talk about anything. We just hit it off.”
Patrick shares that he and Sarah discovered a love for conversation, and were able to talk about everything under the sun, from their love for their pets to their ideas about the state of the world. Though they lead widely different lives, with Sarah entrenched in the corporate world, while Patrick shares a quiet life with his beloved dog of 10 years, they found that conversation built a lasting friendship.
However, their conversations didn’t happen by magic. Over the past few months, Sarah and Patrick have talked twice a week like clockwork, and Sarah insists that it took commitment and consistency for their relationship to develop: “[Patrick] relies heavily on that commitment, for me to follow through. I just make it happen.”
Sarah’s commitment to their calls established a security and foundation that helped Patrick open up after decades of guarded wariness. “I had to . . . make him feel safe,” says Sarah, describing how she waited patiently over weeks and months as Patrick became more comfortable with her. Sarah says that while consistency made Patrick comfortable, she had to actively listen to draw out Patrick’s true feelings over the course of multiple phone calls. “He would tell me a story about a friend . . . I would use that as a talking point, and lead him to the point where he had an opportunity to open up, and he did!” However, while patience and paying genuine attention is key on the volunteer’s part, a breakthrough in vulnerability takes the effort of both parties. “[Patrick’s] willingness makes it easy,” says Sarah.
Patrick confesses that he struggled with trust for a long time. Before their friendship, Patrick kept somewhat of an emotional distance from others. But he shares that “[Sarah] made me realize I can trust people. I am able to discuss some very detailed secrets with Sarah that I have never discussed with anyone else.”
Sarah says Patrick has also taught her a lot. “It can be challenging, especially during a work day, to stop and take time to pull myself back from a stressful day to engage,” says Sarah. “[but] I know that I need to put all of my job stress and family stress aside for that 30-minute phone call.” That consistent sacrifice, shares Sarah, ultimately allows her to connect, relax, and grow.
Sarah says, “[Patrick] really balances my life. He gives me great perspective. His world is so different from mine . . . and that helps me gain empathy.”
Both Sarah and Patrick share a fondness for Miracle Messages, the organization that brought them together. Miracle Messages’ Reunion Services reconnected Sarah with her brother after 28 years of separation, and Sarah is eternally grateful At the time Sarah was being interviewed for this blog post, she was driving to visit her brother. “Everybody is so sincere in their journey [at Miracle Messages],” says Sarah, “I feel like a part of the family.”
Motivated by the trust he and Sarah share, Patrick urges readers to volunteer: “I’d like people to volunteer for [Miracle Friends] because it can make a difference in someone’s life. Being a senior and going through my life process, it’s important to have someone . . . that you can look forward to talking to”
In agreement, Sarah tells potential volunteers that the greatest thing they can offer is a real, sincere friendship built on trust: “It’s a commitment that you will never ever regret.”